W.A.I.T.

What W.A.I.T. Taught Me About Talking
Too Much (and Connecting More)
by Noah Clyman, LCSW-R

I recently caught myself doing the thing I coach clients not to do:

Talking just to fill the space.

It was during a group Zoom meeting. Someone asked a thoughtful question, and I launched into a longer-than-necessary answer. As I kept going, I had this uneasy feeling in the back of my mind—like I was losing the room.

Afterward, I replayed it and felt that familiar mix of regret and self-consciousness.
Then I remembered a tool I’d shared with clients countless times but had completely forgotten in the moment: W.A.I.T.

Why Am I Talking?
It’s a simple acronym--W.A.I.T. stands for Why Am I Talking?
It’s not about judging yourself—it’s about creating a pause.

Ask:
→ Am I speaking to be helpful?
→ Or am I managing my own anxiety by overexplaining?

​When I remembered that question, something clicked.

The Next Time, I Did It Differently
Later that week, in another meeting, I caught the impulse to fill silence again.
This time, I paused.
I asked someone else a follow-up question.
Their response was thoughtful—and the conversation flowed better.
I spoke less.
I connected more.

A Gentle Reminder
We’re not always going to get it “right.”
But every time we pause, reflect, and course-correct, we grow.
Next time you feel pressure to fill the space, try asking yourself:

​Why am I talking?
You may find that less = more.