redirecting frustration

Don't Waste Your Frustration 
Part 2: 9 Ways to Redirect It
by Noah Clyman, LCSW-R

Frustration gets a bad reputation, but the feeling itself isn’t the enemy.

Frustration has energy in it.

The problem is where that energy goes.

If we don’t direct it intentionally, it often turns into resentment, irritability, procrastination, avoidance, or another argument we don’t really want to have.
So when frustration is running high, the goal isn’t necessarily to eliminate it. The goal is to channel it.

These aren’t magic, but they are reliable ways to change your state.

​1. Meditate.
It may not be as fashionable as it once was, but in my experience, 15 minutes of meditation can rebalance my mood like few other things.

2. Lift something heavy.
I’ve never been a huge weightlifting person, but a lot of people swear by it. Weights, a long walk, a run — it doesn’t really matter. The body was built to move stress, not just think about it.

3. Do yoga or stretch.
Think of it as meditation for people who can’t sit still. You get the breathing and mindfulness, plus the added benefit of reminding your shoulders that they do not actually belong next to your ears.

4. Play a sport, if that’s your thing.
I personally don’t enjoy sports, but for those who do, there’s something satisfying about putting frustration into competition instead of conflict.

5. Spend time in nature.
The Japanese call it shinrin-yoku, or forest bathing. I just call it taking Lightning for a long walk somewhere with lots of trees. He thinks it’s the greatest thing in the world, and honestly, he’s probably right.

6. Go to a spa or get a massage.
Anyone who knows me knows I have a slight obsession with spas. I’m convinced a massage fixes at least half the problems people mistakenly attribute to personality. It is amazing how much more patient you become when your shoulders aren’t living somewhere around your ears.

7. Have sex.
Solo or with a willing partner, sexual release can be one of the most effective ways to reduce stress, physical tension, and irritability.

8. Get something done.
Answer those emails, clean the garage, fold the laundry, organize your office, or finish the task you’ve been avoiding. Progress — any progress — has a funny way of shrinking frustration.

9. Do something kind for someone else.
This is probably the hardest one because it’s usually the last thing we feel like doing when we’re frustrated, which is exactly why it can be so powerful. Helping another person shifts our attention away from what we’re missing and back toward the kind of person we want to be.

​Frustration is going to go somewhere. These are a few ways to give it somewhere better to go.